Procrastination. We meet again.


As per usual, my scheduled "whoops, I haven't blogged or journaled in forever and therefore are bound to forget half the summer" guilt started kicking in around mile 4 of my daily walk to the market. I immediately started collecting my thoughts and made a promise that I wasn't allowed my afternoon tea today until I hammered out my thoughts via interwebs. Ready. Set. Go.

just taking a brisk stroll in Ireland

The past few weeks have been jam packed full of visiting friends and family, learning how to cook with International constraints, walking miles and miles and miles around Ireland and London, and virtually stalking the entire royal family. Having the company of some lifelong friends and my family was a perfect distraction to how hard adjusting to life abroad can be. There are so many memories that just aren't the same when made alone, so I am eternally thankful for everyone's generosity and companionship. I am happy to report that we have found an ABUNDANCE of quality Mexican food joints that we may or may not eat at every other day. Unfortunately, there is no sign of queso so we are forced to down bowl after bowl of guacamole :] Rather comically, one restaurant claimed to have nachos covered in "liquid Texas cheese sauce". No idea what on earth that resembles, so I opted to run the other direction. Aimee (my lovely sissykins) and I started a lil list of all the American delicacies that we missed. This was quite productive in increasing our gratuity of the land of the free and home of the brave. 

I see you smothered cheese and jalapenos and guacamole and SOUR CREAM.

I have noted an interesting redundant theme throughout my life the past few weeks: the frailty of life. Trailing through museum after museum after museum, I am flooded with the consciousness of how none of life matters if we are living merely for ourselves or to be liked or to acquire fame. For example, the top like 5% of the richest and most successful Egyptians were actually honored enough to get a mummified coffin. Yet, today these are just old dead smelly people who get one measly plaque (most of whom are labeled "young man" or "woman between the age or 34-42") and are featured backgrounds of the Asian tourists selfies. This was the cream of the crop of an entire society who's individual legacies amounts to nothing. Another example is how maybe 8 artists are commonly recognized in our generation for their insane masterpieces. So let's only consider those guys. What do we really know about Monet or Van Gough? We can maybe state a few facts such as "he's the one that cut off his ear, right?" but other than that. Nada. Yet how many of us seek that future recognition and strive day after day for momentary happiness or success. John Green dives into this really thought provoking concept in The Fault Between Our Stars where a character mentions; 

"I did some research on this a couple years ago," Augustus continued. "I was wondering if everybody could be remembered. Like, if we got organized, and assigned a certain number of corpses to each living person, would there be enough living people to remember all the dead people?"
"And are there?"
"Sure, anyone can name fourteen dead people. But we're disorganized mourners, so a lot of people end up remembering Shakespeare and no one ends up remembering the person he wrote Sonnet Fifty-five about."

How crazy is that to think about. Even if you are the "one" to be remembered, very few will remember more than your name. In a city of literally millions surrounded by years of history, I realize just how small I am. In an episode of Boy Meets World, Shawn goes into the world to find himself emerging with the statement: 

"I had a moment.. just one that made everything completely clear to me. I was looking at the night sky and I could see everything...stars, planets, galaxies."
"You must have felt so small."
"I did! I totally did. I felt like a speck, who was here for one moment in time and then gone. I decided that while I'm here, I wanna be with my friends and the people I love. Because when I'm with you guys, I don't feel so small."

Anywho, I realize this is swaying on the side of heavy. I've just been put back into perspective (as I am so often) about what truly matters. At the end of the day, I care about relationships and those I love. Furthermore, my entire aspiration is to push the one's I love towards the cross and Christ's perfect love each and everyday. Having my sissy come visit and share our insanely cramped one room studio reminded me of what a treasure our relationship is. Not many share that bond with a sibling or even friend. We are completely opposite and are not afraid to share hard blunt truths with one another. Alas, that's the beauty of a "home team". You get to share the darkest sides of yourself and be completely called out on your baggage. It's often not fun or pretty. Life is so much easier when you are surface friends with everyone, never allowing people deep enough to actually see you. I'm just constantly learning to cultivate the depth rather than the width of my friendships and workout the hard "let's not go there" moments and air out the baggage once and for all. 

Sissykins and I!

This season of just dwelling and soaking up culture as a foreign observer is savory. Not entirely sure if that is a noun, but that's precisely how I feel. Living abroad and serving Bopants and making memories with the fambam has been a delightful treat. One of the coolest endeavors has been participating in the body of Hillsong London church for our 6 weeks here. They embody "Home" and are such pictures of community and reaching the lost where they are at. I am ignited with anticipation for arriving back in Lubbock and at Elife really sink our teeth into living out life and making a home. After living from suitcases for 3 months, we are getting antsy to unpack and call a place ours. Home

Hillsong London's weekly slide and connect point

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Merci for all your kind/thoughtful/comical/random comments! Chatting with readers is a major step in making this interweb relationship a bit more two-way, like old friends ranting about life. Makes my heart happy. I read and try to respond to each and every comment, so check back!
Shalom lovelies.